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Worse Things

by Penny Orchids

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Gatefold sleeve with poster and limited edition sperm whale 78 print CD.

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1.
We packed the Claire Celeste on a Friday Left harbour on December 31st With our cargo of gold, tobacco and rum Headed home with enough for our thirst We didn’t see the stranger til the island Was a speck flung back far behind the wind With his shock of blood red hair and immutable stare He didn’t speak as the dark clouds gathered in And as the waves tore up the sides like a tonne of dynamite And tore a grin through the side of the hull The crew hung on for life while the stranger took his knife And he strode the deck while whistling low He struck the captain right beneath the jawbone Who twisted as he fell to the floor Bloodied, limp, rolled off the side as we heard the masts collide As sailor followed cargo followed oar “Throw the bastard in after the captain” Hollered crewmen as the water upped and sprayed “Take a whip to his hide and a spear for his side So he’s a handhold as he’s thrown amongst the waves’” But no sooner had we spoke, the stranger jumped up on the bow Pulled an hourglass from under his coat And slammed it on the deck of that bloodied, splintered wreck And as we lay dumb he spoke “Carve my initials on a grain of sand And throw me out onto the wave Then watch my shadow crawl ashore like a miracle cure Has pulled me back from a watery grave "I told your captain he would have his cargo I swore to god that he would never drown But he was dead upon the deck with my knife in his neck You see my good side’s from the antlers down." And as the ship went down We were hypnotised (hypnotised) We were hypnotised (hypnotised) We were hypnotised (hypnotised) We were hypnotised (hypnotised) One more drink and I’ll be gone…
2.
There was a man who crossed a line He was once your Valentine Now he's nothing of the kind You could see him after dark Waiting in your local park On the train as you disembark He's a sodium light in an underpass A worm-eaten corpse under wood and grass A husk of a thing with vacant eyes Missing you with evil on his mind There was once a man who had been wronged A man who thought that he belonged Until a pain became prolonged You see, he answered to a call Now he's just a wrecking ball For a spirit that you can't forestall He's a sodium light in an underpass A worm-eaten corpse under wood and grass A husk of a thing with vacant eyes Missing you with evil on his mind
3.
Eliza Battle 04:36
Mighty steamer on the Tombigbee On its maiden pleasure cruise The brand new calliope And the classiest revues All the people of the valley The fashions of the day Now they're resting at Odd Fellows Souls a'restless, so they say Figures on fire Figures on fire Cling to the trees All the way home Some years later I saw Eliza On the river still in flames Now I'm looking for survivors Calling out their names James McCrory is a'roaming Captain Stone's greeting guests Emmet Calhoun's at the tables Placing hundred year old bets Far away Far away Waves up in flames All the way home Ghostly steamer on the Tombigbee On its maiden pleasure jaunt You can still hear the calliope On the river that it haunts Eliza Battle on the river Oh the river's on fire Now they're calling it an omen On the telegraph wire
4.
Trinidad 04:36
Commandeered a ship today Sometimes life works out that way Found myself a hired crew Sailed off into the blue I learned to sing that old refrain I learned to use another name Sailed out to Port of Spain On the seven seas again Long before we'd reached the isle We were living life in style Drunk on gold and fat on rum Dancing to the steel drum But then the moon tide turned on me I saw impossibility And through a salty stinging haze I prayed for better days In Trinidad when shit turned bad We'd only been ashore for hours They left me as a severed head And passed me on to greater powers Then put me in a wooden box And sold me to a merchant ship Placed me on a funeral pyre Smoked me to the filter tip Commandeered a ship today Sometimes life works out that way I once was a major port Now I'm just a shallow bay
5.
6.
Under the shadow of Liberty's gaze A ship full of men, strange alien ways Maloney arrived, he was fresh off the boat With a head full of dreams and a rock in this throat A hope in his heart for a brand new start To leave the Old Country behind him Out on the esplenade at Brooklyn Heights With a view of the bridge and the city of lights Maloney worked hard at making his name So far from the docks and the furnace's flame And the barrowman's stall and the union call To leave the old country behind him in the dead of the night on the Williamsburg Bridge A meeting arranged at Canal & Eldridge Maloney conspired with men in the cold They spoke in a language 3,000 years old Of the chances they'd take and the money they'd make They would leave the old country behind them From the edge of the Bowery to Union Square Errands were run of a dubious air Maloney looked sharp in his tailor-made suit A neighbourhood hero of honest repute Out in the sun and the snow and grit He promised again that he'd make it legit He thought of those days when he'd traded in schmutter With his brains and his chutzpah he'd avoided the gutter From ambitions to wealth, raise a glass to good health We will leave the old country behind us
7.
There were men making buildings that reached to the sky The world was rebuilt in chrome, black and white The cars and the guns and the women were quicker There was all kinds of money in prohibited liquor Maloney was prospering running the stills Picking up packets of 10 dollar bills But fortune and heads can turn like a mill Look away boy and see what you get In a deli near ludlow & avenue A He noticed his hair in the spoon, turning grey He thought of the hopes of his youth back in Cork And the distance between that and life in New York The ends of a fortune are built on the means The sons of misfortune inherit the dreams Look away for a second, life splits at the seams Look away boy and see what you get So he jacked it all in on a wing and a prayer Packed up his things and walked out of there Said goodbye to his mistress who took the news well And he started from scratch in the Morningside hell The ends of a fortune are built on the means The sons of misfortune inherit the dreams Look away for a second, life splits at the seams Look away boy and see what you get
8.
Oh Atlantic City, it's the future you bet You can throw it away on the craps and roulette If you didn't have much, you can leave with much less But it sure beats the day job for dealing with stress Oh Atlantic City, you can find it all here The smell of the ocean, the lights of the pier Oh the boardwalk, the promise is waiting for you Atlantic City, all your dreams will come true
9.
When we last met Maloney he'd begun a decline Moved his family west to the jersey state line He was down on his luck He was holed up in tenements He was hiding in Harlem And falling like elephants Maloney grew bored of the pity & fuss Bought up a seat on the coast city bus Straight down the boardwalk, like a slug from a gun He bet all he had on '31 He was haggard & jaded, he was handsome and free He took a lover from down by the sea He wasted no time rebuilding his premises For old habits die hard and so can a nemesis Maloney read Genesis but Numbers was favoured He played the percentages, he schemed and he laboured His lover gave birth to a son he named Atticus An heir to the empire, a sword and an abacus Maloney grew wealthy, Maloney filled vaults Maloney grew fat again, skimming the schmaltz Maloney grew weary, Maloney grew reticent Maloney's thoughts turned to his last will and testament Maloney grew bloated, Maloney grew thin Maloney grew cracked like an old violin Maloney grew grey and Maloney passed over Maloney's heart danced one last bossa nova
10.
Shell Beach 05:00
The elevator stops at the 58th floor You can buy it all there for a dollar and more I'm off to the ocean, the spray and the roar I'm dreaming of Shell Beach A needed vacation for a hell of a year A tattered old postcard, a last souvenir Get on the bus to the end of the pier I'm dreaming of Shell Beach My Anna, my Emma I found you, forever Your face in my mind like suspicious endeavour With change in my pocket, I'm a hell of a guy Your name on the sand, your name in the sky Down at the automat, drink lemonade Down on the corner, a penny arcade The sound of the organ, the pact that we made I'll meet you at Shell Beach The sun in the summer, the smell of the sea A brand new pavilion for afternoon tea I know that my baby is waiting for me I'll see her at Shell Beach My Anna, my Emma I found you, forever Your face in my mind like suspicious endeavour With change in my pocket, I'm a hell of a guy Your name on the sand, your name in the sky Your name on my lips, on the tip of my speech Your name on the postcard I sent from Shell Beach

credits

released July 7, 2014

BAND
Tom Harrison: drums, percussion, keg, box, backing vocals
Sam Astley: lead vocals, guitars, mandolin, backing vocals, percussion
Kate Dornan: piano, lead vocal (Shell Beach), mandolin, harmonium, hammond, accordion, backing vocals, percussion, tuba
Dom Green: bass, double bass, baritone guitar, harmonica, guitar (The New World), backing vocals, percussion, rum
Phil Whaite: saxophone, backing vocals, whistling, percussion

FEATURING
Melissa Reardon: trumpet
The Ha’penny Orchids: (Ciaran McNamee, Emmeline May and Kate Whaite): chorus, percussion
Dave Draper, Pete Adams & Basil Green: shouting
The Stillhouse Orchestra (Maria Cork and Jake Evans): lead vocals on Atlantic City
Introducing Jerry Sass as the voice of Atlantic City

CREW
Arranged by Penny Orchids with words and music by Dominic Green, except:
One More Drink: words and music by Sam Astley
Your Vacant Eyes: words by Dominic Green, music by Sam Astley and Dominic Green
The New World: music by Kate Dornan
Atlantic City: written and arranged by Dominic Green
Shell Beach: words by Dominic Green, music by Kate Dornan

Recorded by Dave Draper at Tower Studios, Worcs and by Sam Astley & Dominic Green at various locations in London
Lead vocals (except Atlantic CIty and Shell Beach) recorded by Mark Allaway at Miloco
Waves on Crosby Beach sample courtesy of Chris Roche
freesound.org/people/crosbychris/sounds/213078/
Mixed by Dave Draper
Produced by Sam Astley and Dominic Green with Penny Orchids

Cover design by Phil Whaite with Penny Orchids
Cover photograph © Coney Island History Society
(www.coneyislandhistory.org)
Band photographs by Rachel Freire

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Penny Orchids UK

tall tales, tragedies, cheap sideshow distractions

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